Feb 26, 2006

Their Oil for Us and Your Ports For Them - Get It, Meatballs?

This UAE-Port biz is much white trash ado about nothing other than 6 of our major ports being swapped with the UAE in exchange for their government allowing US oil firms to increase their ownership in UAE oil projects from minority to majority stakes. Get it?

Forget jeopardizing U.S. security. The UAE deal doesn't jeopardize U.S. Heimatsicherheit any more than does bringing home our screwed-over troops in shambles to live among our Disney-fied children and their Green Day listening hot kindergarten teachers. (But that's another story)

Wariness of undemocratic (or even democratic for that matter) Muslims only applies when used as a pretext for diverting the tax dollars of numbnuttedly patriotic blue-collar voters from programs that would really make their lifes a bit less anxiety ridden and doling it out instead as equity owner subsidies and kick backs - and of course as military investment that aids in shoring up far-flung market penetration activities for our Big Cap cowboys. Let our overworked and retarded electorate hate the olive-hued heathen...just don't let that reliably pliant and zomboid hatred get in our way of getting a good piece of tax-subsidized A-grade ass....ahum, A-rab windfall.

So why is this convenient Prez de Presenile Dementia of ours getting all blowhardy defensive about a UAE-port deal he claimed to have little earlier noesis of? I mean, it's just a run of the mill duplicitous swap, girlfriend. Some might deprecatively coin it as a brazen swap of electorate credulousness for even more Big Oil giveaways. (But let's keep matters non-conspiratorial for my younger wives out there. Bush et al really means to phase out oil and run cars on hydrogen after being flabbergasted and incensed by Big Oil's record windfalls - cross my heart. No more giveaways.)

The UAE is a few multiples the size of Cheney's Wyoming retreat yet it harbors some 10 % of the world's oil reserves and represents the planet's 6th largest reserve of natural gas. Documentation stemming from both US oil corporations and the US trade negotiation representation from a few years back show full agreement that We need to allow US oil companies to own bigger stakes in UAE oil fields than the 49% chokehold allotment to date. The US #1 priority in pushing for a free trade agreement is to allow US oil to own bigger shares in UAE projects.

So the Bush Admin is agreeing to let a company controlled by the government of UAE take over 6 large US ports in exchange for the relaxing and liberalizing of rules so as to allow US oil companies to take bigger shares of oil drilling activities in the UAE.

US oil companies operate without many restrictions in the UAE but are stopped shy from owning crucial majority stakes in any assets or projects. That's where a free trade agreement comes in...we give up our ports for US oil company ownership of UAE oil fields. That's why it's cute to hear Bush et al scrambling to defend this back room deal with the 'Not all Arabs are bad' defence. Slick is as Slick tells him to say.

This appears to be all about delivering the hot Arabian goods to their oil industry task masters by fencing off our ports - and that in flagrant contradiction of security concerns the Admin itself raises whenever opportune for their various tax revenue transferance schemes.

(Note the rather marked difference between the Bush Admin's reaction to the proposed sale last year of the California-based company Unocal to a company controlled by the Chinese government and the sale of 6 large US port contracts to a company controlled by a Middle Eastern company. Maybe those stingy Chinese commies should've sweetened the deal with decisive mainland concessions to our Big Oil or Mega Pharma.Then they could've received a 100 year lease on running the Statue of Liberty's elevator - and got exclusive first pick options on our caucasian runaway roundups for the white slave sex industry that services their whale dick chomping horny nomenklatura.)


Effwit said...

Excellent piece.

Now I'm going to have to be up all night translating this revelatory material into a reasonably passable bureaucrat-ese, find an appropriate letterhead, and figure out which embassy will pay the most.

Good Stuff.

Meatball One said...

Try the Haitian. I'm sure the new guy would love me.

Effwit said...

That's an idea.

Although, I was thinking Asia.

They pay better.

I may have to make duplicate copies.

Meatball One said...

I'm all out of Noilly Prat. Spot me 2 bucks if you do hawk anything to the Maoists. A man cannot write on Bombay Sapphire alone.
(My line of credit at McDonalds is hitherto keeping me comfortably in fresh ice)