May 22, 2006

The One And Only Recipe For Swedish Meatballs In This Whole Wide And Wild World Of Ours

Over half of all the visits tracked at SMC come from anticipative gourmands and gourmets entering swedish meatballs recipe or some appended variant thereof (tasty, delicious, hubby-pleasing, spicy, gay, Neo-Con, bondage, hypoallergenic, IKEA, frozen, microwave, forbidden, big, succulent...) into their favorite search engines. What a monumental disappointment they were in for upon arriving here at SMC!

To date, SMC has only published one post with a recipe resulting in something marginally edible. The post referenced a company selling some carcinogenic concoction it claimed would result in perfect meatballs when added to ground beef and stirred. Goodness me!

So finally, here it is. Here's the one and only recipe in the world for authentic Swedish Meatballs. All other claimant recipes are shams and the unenlightened works of primitive imposters for the hungry and bewildered.

What exclusively defines a Swedish Meatball is not its precise ingredients. It isn't the circumference or the spherical symmetry of the balls either (though something approximating a ball is never entirely wrong.)

The sole defining factors of what comprises genuine Swedish Meatballs is who is doing the rolling, and for what reason the rolling is being perpetrated. These very factors are also what makes Swedish Meatballs so uniquely enjoyable. This is also the reason why bona fide Swedish Meatballs are as hard to come by as they are enthrallingly pleasurable to consume.

The roller of Swedish Meatballs must unequivocally prepare the Meatballs out of a saturating sense of unconditional love and deep admiration for the targeted eater as well as harbor an unadulterated desire to please when pleasure is not demanded or even expected. Congruent to this, Swedish Meatballs must never be prepared per dictate of the eater but only per adoring inspiration of the roller.

There you have it. Preparing and receiving Swedish Meatballs is that simple while being that unattainable for many by way of the doting artistry inherent its preparation. Tofu, curry, chopped liver, or ground organic beef and shredded shallots - it doesn't matter what's thrown into the mixing bowl. All that stuff is of a technical nature and technicians are a dime a dozen.

A Swedish Meatball is all about the art of good living and anyone who has never made or received the great gift of a Swedish Meatball or two has never been in shooting range of the life worth living. And that really is too bad.


ggwfung said...

this is truly Blog Mad!

Meatball One said...

I would like to think so too as all our are posts are written to the decibelgastic musical accompaniment of Wagner.

Thanks for your acute sense of observation. It is appreciated and treasured.

Do you also love the smell of burning meatballs in the morning?