Jeb's Little House Of Horrors - Prologue

''New research shows that arresting and Scared Straight programs does nothing to cause a child to not act out. It's not productive,'' ...(C)hild advocates argue the policy often ''criminalizes'' childhood -- by turning minor incidents into major offenses.

Advocates point to the case last March involving 5-year-old Ja'eisha Scott, who was arrested in her classroom after throwing a tantrum at her elementary school in St. Petersburg. The videotape of officers handcuffing Ja'eisha received national attention.

In the 2004-2005 schoolyear, Miami-Dade schools police arrested 2,484 students, district records show. But only 12 percent of those arrests were for serious crimes involving weapons or drugs -- among the catalysts driving the zero-tolerance measures.
More At Miami Herald

What went so terribly wrong with your family and life, Barbara.

Really

And Still There Are Places

A Chink In The Pretext Armour

Chinese ambassador Wang Guangya on Friday said the Security Council should give Iran "four weeks to six weeks" to comply with demands by the UN nuclear watchdog that it halt all uranium enrichment activities.

Meanwhile, The United States has termed it an attempt to "divert pressure" Tehran has drawn over its nuclear program.
Read More at PakTribune

Please tell us - what's the hurry? Iran is far from going nasty-nuclear within 2 years let alone within 4 to 6 weeks. What's the ulterior intent of a deadline that finds a Chinese proposal for a 4 to 6 week extension on the window for Iranian compliance portrayed by the U.S. as the very epitome of reckless procrastination?

What in fact are the schedules and plans that would be devastatingly impacted upon by a 4 to 6 week hiccup in developments? By the way, what's the seasonally conditional window of opportunity for atmospheric conditions optimal to an aerial onslaught against Iran? Ain't we talkin' the same seasonal time slot as for our Q2-03 (Third Persian Gulf War) Shock & Awe putsch?

And if we wanna pound 'em from the skies before we commit troops not yet rotated out of other theaters then an extended aerial campaign over the summer and fall will soften Persian spirits enough for delusionally imagined mop-up troop insertions come Q4-06. Such insertions would coincide with doctrinal assertions of optimal climate conditions for ground forces operating in the region. (Hang on a sec...surgeons operate - the military kills.)

And then, lest we forget, our own pending elections and the scary although improbable prospect of accountabilitiy for the crazies at the hands of the liberal teat-sucking wusses should they overcome Diebold, post lactation anxiety, and the NSA to win back the delapidated house of redunant repute.

Could it indeed be this mix of seasonally and domestically determined deadlines for optimal aerial warfare parameters that the Chinese are dicking around with? Is that the subtextual subterfuge of their proposal? Does that Sino-subtext accurately reflect the existence of a foregone conclusion – ie the Q2-06 hit on Iran?

We think so. Ra Ra Ra

Tim McKeough In Stockholm Our Ass

If Tim McKeough was in Stockholm last month then he spent all his time in shackles with a Finnish dominatrix in a tenement basement storage unit just south of Södertälje.

Tim's list is about the shittiest list of what's up in Stockholm as there ever was.We think he in fact holed up at a Holiday Inn near Oshawa, doing gritty horse and surfing the net on a dial-up modem. Our ass he was in town. Fire the fake.

Tim McKeough managed to miss everything cool, happening, and relevant but got everything you couldn't miss if you picked up an old copy of the monthly What's On Stockholm. Read All About Tim's Fake Stockholm Visit At The Globe And Mail

EFFWIT - The Most Intolerable Of Meatballs

No sooner did we at SMC stop beaming of spasmodic pride after Washington Post flagged us than the EFFWIT-shizzlers trumped us with Slate magazine's EFFWIT-blurboid.

(Real Meatballs don't read Slate anyways. Eat quiche you fuck)

WaPo Must Really Love Meatballs

Don't Fuck With Our Pretexts

Early last week, Europe instantly rejected, without pause for breath, an Iranian offer of a two-year moratorium on uranium enrichment, thus setting its seal on a major international crisis.

The immediate upshot of the rejection of Iran's offer is that the United Nations' International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) voted on Friday to refer Iran to the UN Security Council, although the council will take no action until an IAEA report on Iran is delivered in March. The council could possibly impose sanctions.

Iran's "six-point" proposal was submitted by the Iranian delegation headed by Javad Veidi to the EU-3 (Germany, France and Britain) in Brussels on January 30. Instead of giving it careful consideration, the EU-3 diplomats rejected it as old news, devoid of anything new, and then, rather disingenuously, went on to blame Iran for "lack of progress".

Yet, incredibly, no one in the European or US media even examined the nature and content of the six-point Iranian proposal, confining themselves to the official pronouncements of the EU-3 diplomats who are more keen on satisfying the US's march toward the Security Council than in breaking the nuclear stalemate on their own.

A Must Read At Asia Times

Golden Eurohole Mole

Moles must be had in all halls of power to succesfully project endgames and ulterior motives of the blue planet's decisive movers. One of ours resides within the European Commision, the Executive branch of the EU.

On occasion our mole graces us with hyperlinks ununappendaged with commentary. At times we assume such terseness reflects the moles lack of liberty to directly communicate currents of insight and motive found within the vortex of EU power leaving Euromole to ingeniously betoken per indirect linky reference. That's cool.

At other times it seems as if our mole's taciturn communications reflect a dialectic whereby true understanding can only be had through reflection without the aid of Euromole's Cliff Notes. That's cool too...we take what we can get.

SMC's first published Euromole link concerns energy alternatives.
Thank you Euromole

Watch

Iraq's Pollyanna Meatballs

Check out FAIR's collection of some of the most notable media comments from the early days of the Iraq War. More At FAIR

"We had controversial wars that divided the country. This war united the country and brought the military back."
(Newsweek's Howard Fineman--MSNBC, 5/7/03)

"The war winds down, politics heats up.... Picture perfect. Part Spider-Man, part Tom Cruise, part Ronald Reagan. The president seizes the moment on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific."
(PBS's Gwen Ifill, 5/2/03, on George W. Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech)

"What's he going to talk about a year from now, the fact that the war went too well and it's over? I mean, don't these things sort of lose their--Isn't there a fresh date on some of these debate points?"
(MSNBC's Chris Matthews, speaking about Howard Dean--4/9/03)

"Sean Penn is at it again. The Hollywood star takes out a full-page ad out in the New York Times bashing George Bush. Apparently he still hasn't figured out we won the war."
(MSNBC's Joe Scarborough, 5/30/03)

Muslim Conflag Assets Show Protestant Work Ethic

Look at our conflag assets putting their Mohammedan shoulders to the wheel. That's value for black op money, baby.

Death squads are becoming part of everyday life in Baghdad's Sunni neighborhoods. Sunnis living in the Khadamiya neighborhood are terrorized daily. Sometimes the men in black shoot randomly into their houses and backyards. Sometimes they give the residents five minutes to leave, then set fire to the house. Those Sunni's who aren't simply executed by their neighbors are being systematically driven out of the city's Shiite neighborhoods. More At Spiegel Magazine

Yaba Daba Conflate-A-Doo

As the SMC projection of a Q3-07 hit on Iran draws near we remain unrelenting in blaming those bearded Persian misogynists for antibiotic resistant chlamydia, Babylonian bedlam, and Brokeback Mountain's dismal showing at the Oscars. (Didn't we use the bearded misogynist angle before? Oh but of course. It was when we rallied the peace loving and emancipated occidental female demographic behind the invasion of Afghanistan.)

With Iran nigh pretexted into slaughter-worthiness we can conflate the new Iranian theater of operations with the Iraqi and just bomb the fuck out of them both without bothersome discrimination, distinction - or our own dying boots on the ground.

You see, first we blame Iran and then we'll blame those Iraqi ingrates - and then we'll declare victory and cut and run to skies treacherous.

And hey, nobody collaterally bombs the fuck out of societies better than we do. We might be outnumbered and outwitted but we will never be outbombed! Yaba Daba Doo

Conflation Chatter:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Now class, go find your own examples of C&C (on your employer's computer and time of course). Best completed assignment gets dry martinis on the SMC tab till their face bitchslaps a piss drenched floor silly.

...and Dying Trolls They Became

Tragically, as we once warned...

A drugs company says it has apologised to the families of two critically ill men and four others in a serious condition after a clinical drugs trial. More At BBC

The Usual Birds Of A Feather

With the United States in virtually lone opposition, the United Nations overwhelmingly approved a new Human Rights Council on Wednesday to replace the widely discredited Human Rights Commission.

The vote in the General Assembly was 170 to 4 with 3 abstentions. Joining the United States were Israel, the Marshall Islands and Palau. Belarus, Iran and Venezuela abstained. More At NYT

Conflagration - That's Too Much Love For Me, Yankee

Faik Bakir, the director of the Baghdad morgue, has fled Iraq in fear of his life after reporting that more than 7,000 people have been killed by death squads in recent months, the outgoing head of the UN human rights office in Iraq has disclosed.

The vast majority of bodies showed signs of summary execution - many with their hands tied behind their back. Some showed evidence of torture, with arms and leg joints broken by electric drills," said John Pace, the Maltese UN official. The killings had been happening long before the bloodshed after last week's bombing of the Shia shrine in Samarra.
More At Guardian Unlimited

(...and a little teaser 'bout conflating)

EFFWIT

Peace Pipe Puffin' Meatballs

Sweden, SMC grants you collective, complete, and unconditional absolution for any dumb shit ever pulled in your glorious past. Your slate of sins is wiped clean. Walk in peace, fair-skinned Meatballians.

A totem pole taken to Sweden from British Columbia 77 years ago began its long journey back to Canada Tuesday. The most common story is that Olof Hansson, a representative of the Swedish government, had purchased it from someone who was not authorized to sell it.

The totem... is believed to be the first cultural artifact voluntarily returned to a Canadian aboriginal group from a country outside North America. More At CBC

Brokeback Mockba

Maygay! Maygay! Moscow calling Abba.

A group of gay activists led by the notorious lawyer Nikolai Alexeev has recently stepped up its activities aimed at staging the first gay pride parade in Moscow in May 2006. The event is designed to conclude a conference of gays and lesbians.In view of such a unanimous condemnation of the gay parade in Russia's capital, Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov and city authorities will certainly ban it.The organizers of the parade apparently count on the domestic and overseas backing.
More At Pravda

Conflagration For Freshmen Meatballs

Iraqi Conflagration 101

• Dismantle Iraqi armed forces and security constellations and replace them with militias founded along sectarian and ethnic lines.
• Dismantle Iraqi State apparatus and appoint Bremer as viceroy in its stead.
• Stage elections designed to further ethnic and religous sectarianism.
• Train and support terror and death squads tasked with murdering Iraq's intelligentia and technocrats as well as carrying out terror operations against civilian targets.

Go conflagrate yourself!

Iraqi Conflagration Ops - General: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Iraqi Conflagration Ops - Chatter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Pre-Iraq Conflagration Ops: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

...oh btw, Negroponte: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11